Wednesday, September 28, 2011

jet plane

Currently playing : Stereo heart by Gym Class Heros featuring Adam Levine.
If I could only find a note to make you understand
I'd sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand
Just keep it stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune
And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you

Yesterday was not a good day to text. I always try to shake off anything I consider unpleasant about my Sugarpie. Maybe due to that, I can’t remember why I thought yesterday wasn’t a good day for us.

We text in the morning, during work, it simply ended like that. That was unpleasant. Not that it just ended abruptly that made it unpleasant, but the topic of texting. Darn! I try hard to recall but I can’t remember what we were texting about.

Later that evening, he texts me saying that Rambo’s company called him, setting up an interview appointment. Not that the company belongs to Rambo but that’s where Rambo works. Rambo keeps bragging about his job, keep bragging how he enjoys every moment of it while I had my butt sticking on a freaking-not-so-comfy chair in a cold office, staring at strings of numbers on the stupid monitor; daily! Yes daily for approximately 11 hours. Fuck my company that we are not allowed to claim the OT or even claim for a paid-time off. Huge fuck that company!

Well, since sugarpie told me about that job interview, I had been anxious. What if he really get the job and move to KL? Who will be my driving power? Who will I ask out for a movie? Who will offer me promises (even though they are fake but comforting promises) to take me out and make me happy? Who will go out with me each weekend nights and make me feel like I'm on the top of the world? I’m dehydrated without him. All those thoughts made me so freaking insecure, tears stream down, almost non-stop.

Better stop now, the tear’s blocking me view. Dont dare mentioning his name. Even though Shafiq Rahim scored a triple hattrick, but dont dare mentioning the name in front of me, or I will immediately break down and cry.

+ “saya sayang anda” I wish I could say that +

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Ayam Penyet Wong Solo opened a branch in my hometown. I'm not sure how it tastes like but the shop is there for a loooong time but never open.

I missed him, still do, but I never tell. I'm very sure he doesn’t know that. I don’t have the strength to bear the deep wound each time he ignores my text.  Yes it hurts. It’s fucking excruciatingly painful.

But the pain seem to ease away when he agreed with my suggestion to try the Ayam Penyet someday. I know there’s nothing to be excited about since there is no guarantee and whatsoever but I'm surely want to smile due to the mutual agreement.


Monday, August 8, 2011

wanting

I am officially an engineer now. Lucky me. I really want him to become an engineer too; soon. Very soon.

The first training, NHO, was really boring. I dnt know what will happen tomorrow. I was so boring I text you, but how dare you did not reply my text message.